Anyway, National Geographic reports that wild turkeys are harassing residents. They're pecking at houses and leaving significant damage. The males get in your face if you threaten them, but the ladies run away. National Geographic recommends that if you can't scare the turkeys away with a broom. Hit them. Hard. I would love to see someone having a fistfight with a turkey. That would be awesome.
Also, I hear that fishers are in my hood. They are a member of the weasel family, which includes wolverines. I'll be damned. Check out what their skills are according to wikipedia:
"the only regular predators of porcupines, the fisher is the only predator to have a specialized killing technique. A fisher first approaches from the direction the porcupine is facing. The porcupine tries to protect itself by turning to present its tail, covered with quills, to the attacker. The fisher then jumps directly over its prey, forcing the porcupine to keep turning to protect its vulnerable head. A dozen or more such maneuvers suffice to exhaust and confuse the porcupine into a stupor in which it can no longer protect itself. Then, by repeatedly biting and scratching at the porcupine's face, the fisher causes it to bleed to death."
Awesome. They also hunt dogs. And probably babies. I wish I believed in guns.
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